Money..

OK, having thought a lot today about going private for T and not making a set in stone decision, I figured if i start saving up then I will have the choice later on, instead of deciding for sure then having to wait to save.


I've gone on a mad saving spree, I've cancelled a load of direct debits for things I don't use/need such as phone insurance, also just changed my car insurance so other than this month (the epic initial payment) I'll be saving money with that now too. 
I reckon I will be saving £50-£100 a month!! Insane.. 


I read a few things today about T's bad side effects and how it's made worse by smoking. So for that and again the money, I'm cutting down/quitting! I feel really good about all this, I think it's just because I feel like I'm in control and I'm working towards getting T. 


Still having a stressful day thanks to the lack of caffeine but I'm battling on! It's not too bad, last day before a couple of days off :D :D Looking forward to seeing my girlfriend tonight and spending the rest of the weekend camping with her :D She is so supportive and treats me as male 100% of the time :) Perfect.. :D

Day Without Caffeine

It's only about 7am and I am already struggling without caffeine! If you know me, you'll know that I am seriously addicted to it so today will be a challenge to say the least. 

Normal start to the day with me getting to work at around 6am. I forgot how much I dislike working Saturdays but at least I have Sunday and Monday off :D

I plan to see my girlfriend later tonight, possibly make her some dinner :). I've recently got on quite well with cooking, even to the point of enjoying it! I think I just like making things and I definitely like food so it's really a double hit! :P

Thought a bit more last night about going private to get testosterone. It's becoming more and more of an option the more I think about it. In terms of time scales, going private really does put it up to me, not waiting for the NHS. I definitely want to have changed my name and have everything in my chosen name before I start ringing up for appointments etc. I want it to all be in my chosen name so there's no confusion or excuse to say I'm not committed. I know you have had to have your name changed for 3 months before they prescribe hormones (I know there are other stipulations too) the bit that confuses me is: do you have to have your name changed 3 months before your first appointment or before your second one (3 months later)? Hmm..

Either way, I want to officially change my name as soon as possible, having some definite struggles with the parents on this though. I don't want to do it without them as I love and respect them but equally, I find it hard to get them to talk to me about it. I want this more than anything and just wish my parents would understand a bit more. I certainly do not want a "well I did it, so just accept it" situation but it looks like the option I have right now.

In terms of coming out, I still haven't come out to my work :/ I really don't know how they will take it and and genuinely worried about it. I figure though, if the worst happens and they find an excuse to fire me, I can just get a new job. Not easy but possible.. All of my friends know and my close family knows. I'm not sure what to do about the extended family, I have a wedding to go to later this year and it's generally accepted that I wear a suit instead of a dress or skirt so I'm not bothered about what I wear but being called my old name and female pronouns just feels like a step backwards. 

No doubt I'll update again later today..

First One!

Hello!
Right, so this is the first of hopefully many posts, I have no idea where this is going to go or what I'm going to end up saying..
My name is Tom (or TJ) and I'm a 22year old transman. I work as a security guard so have a lot of free time on my hands at work!

Today has been a day of ups and downs, was quite stressed this morning and hit a pigeon on my way to work :(
After being stressed out for a while I managed to calm down whilst streaming the royal wedding to my laptop at work (I'm a little annoyed I got so swept up in it but I am a royalist after all!).
This afternoon, I started looking into maybe getting testosterone through private doctors instead of NHS. After spending a good few hours looking into it, I think it's actually worth while! Even taking into account taking holiday from work and travel costs to get to London. I don't like the idea of having to wait potentially 9months until my first appointment with the GIC in Sunderland.
I have a lot to sort out before I actually start this process but thinking about it now gives me something to look forward to.

Anyway.. For now, I think thats all..