Day Without Caffeine

It's only about 7am and I am already struggling without caffeine! If you know me, you'll know that I am seriously addicted to it so today will be a challenge to say the least. 

Normal start to the day with me getting to work at around 6am. I forgot how much I dislike working Saturdays but at least I have Sunday and Monday off :D

I plan to see my girlfriend later tonight, possibly make her some dinner :). I've recently got on quite well with cooking, even to the point of enjoying it! I think I just like making things and I definitely like food so it's really a double hit! :P

Thought a bit more last night about going private to get testosterone. It's becoming more and more of an option the more I think about it. In terms of time scales, going private really does put it up to me, not waiting for the NHS. I definitely want to have changed my name and have everything in my chosen name before I start ringing up for appointments etc. I want it to all be in my chosen name so there's no confusion or excuse to say I'm not committed. I know you have had to have your name changed for 3 months before they prescribe hormones (I know there are other stipulations too) the bit that confuses me is: do you have to have your name changed 3 months before your first appointment or before your second one (3 months later)? Hmm..

Either way, I want to officially change my name as soon as possible, having some definite struggles with the parents on this though. I don't want to do it without them as I love and respect them but equally, I find it hard to get them to talk to me about it. I want this more than anything and just wish my parents would understand a bit more. I certainly do not want a "well I did it, so just accept it" situation but it looks like the option I have right now.

In terms of coming out, I still haven't come out to my work :/ I really don't know how they will take it and and genuinely worried about it. I figure though, if the worst happens and they find an excuse to fire me, I can just get a new job. Not easy but possible.. All of my friends know and my close family knows. I'm not sure what to do about the extended family, I have a wedding to go to later this year and it's generally accepted that I wear a suit instead of a dress or skirt so I'm not bothered about what I wear but being called my old name and female pronouns just feels like a step backwards. 

No doubt I'll update again later today..