My weekend starts at 7pm today! woooo! I'm excited! All I need to do tonight is rush home, pick up a few things, feed the kids and make sure they have enough water to last the 2 days that I'm leaving them and then shoot away bound for "home home" in Birmingham. Off to see my family for my sisters wedding tomorrow!
My mum checked with me yesterday if I had everything I needed and she has been to get me a new pair of trousers :) basically I think she doesn't believe me when I say I haven't scuffed up the bottom of the smart pair I already own! I have a shirt, tie and jacket too which I'm quite excited about wearing!
I also got my mum to get me some "smuggling sweets" for the wedding.. basically pocket suitable quiet sweets, nothing that will melt/rustle/leak/go sticky.. Nothing beats good planning for a wedding!
My dad is giving my sister away (at the wedding not just in general :P) and whenever my dad does anything posh, he always wears his kilt (not for fun, we have Scottish ancestry)
Well.. I was thinking, at some point I will need a kilt too, and all the other stuff too.. Fancy jacket and socks and all that. I will learn the names for all the stuff one day, I know most but can't spell for my life so "all that" will cover it for now! So yeah, anyway, I want to get all of that but I think that will be a long time down the line before my mum and dad are ok enough to respect me for wearing it rather than thinking it's weird and dis-respectful. Besides, it might be after surgery that I can then be a true Scotsman! haha
I don't really want to leave the kids but will be good to go home, and I'll be back on Sunday morning anyway. Sunday is a BBQ for the women's rugby team I used to play for, very excited about that :D Going to go for attempt no.2 at facial hair for it :D they're all really supportive so i figure if it all goes horribly wrong it's a safe environment for it :) I tend to think, and this is pure conjecture, that when I have applied stubble, regardless of how people know me and habit may play a small role but then people wont make mistakes with my name or pronouns as much..
Getting to a point where I know exactly who tries to do it right and who doesn't, I know it's harder for some than others but to be still having to correct yourself EVERY time means you're just not trying!! I'm sorry but it's just dis-respectful now. Most people have got it down though which is awesome :) It is so great to forget that I once wasn't Tom! To be consistently referred to as "he" :D love it
Thursday, 30 June 2011
Wednesday, 29 June 2011
Sunshine and fun times
I realised when flicking through my own blog.. I don't actually blog when I'm happy! I think because I don't *need* to and I don't think about it.
So here I am! Happy!
Spent the day at work (boo) then to the driving range with a friend of mine then pizza :D
Was awesome, I had a really good time!
I got a package today with some tools to create fake facial hair for myself.. It's actually really good! I've not perfected putting it on yet but when I do I think it'll look really realistic. One downside really, I don't know how to really get it off, I had a 10min dabble but have work tomorrow and it's late so didn't want to spend long doing it, then had to scrub my face, and I mean really scrub to get it off! At least I know it's sturdy! So I'm very happy about that too :D
It's the little things..
Also planning to go to Alton Towers with the FTM forum later this year which is something to really look forward to!
One of my friends got his deed poll signed and I am so happy for him! The jealousy is downright insane though! I rang my mum and told her and tentitively asked how she feels about my changing my name, seeing if anything had changed.. she passed on the question lol I don't blame her, I kind of threw it into another conversation! They'll come round eventually but I'm going to start pressing harder, name change is reversible! If it all goes tits up I can change it back (I wont but it's my main tactic to getting the parents approval)
So yeah smiles all round
So here I am! Happy!
Spent the day at work (boo) then to the driving range with a friend of mine then pizza :D
Was awesome, I had a really good time!
I got a package today with some tools to create fake facial hair for myself.. It's actually really good! I've not perfected putting it on yet but when I do I think it'll look really realistic. One downside really, I don't know how to really get it off, I had a 10min dabble but have work tomorrow and it's late so didn't want to spend long doing it, then had to scrub my face, and I mean really scrub to get it off! At least I know it's sturdy! So I'm very happy about that too :D
It's the little things..
Also planning to go to Alton Towers with the FTM forum later this year which is something to really look forward to!
One of my friends got his deed poll signed and I am so happy for him! The jealousy is downright insane though! I rang my mum and told her and tentitively asked how she feels about my changing my name, seeing if anything had changed.. she passed on the question lol I don't blame her, I kind of threw it into another conversation! They'll come round eventually but I'm going to start pressing harder, name change is reversible! If it all goes tits up I can change it back (I wont but it's my main tactic to getting the parents approval)
So yeah smiles all round
And you thought I was done!
More to get out I'm afraid..
I rang the GP and my doctor rang me back, I have to change docs and she was very helpful gave me the details of another trans friendly doctor that works near my new place. I'm happy that I have an idea of where to go but like I said before, really gutted about leaving my current doc :(
Also made a stupid mistake. Very stupid. I have not changed my name legally so all my ID is on my old female name, this is annoying but never really been much of a problem. Until this idiot decides to buy things online using my chosen name, Tom. Normally not a problem, I love getting post in my chosen name! However, I live in an apartment block with tiny little mail boxes so my packages went back to the royal mail sorting office. With the recorded ones, you have to take ID to go get them.. Fucking genius.. Gonna have to go and possibly out myself but try and blag it to get my own mail..
On the plus side, my new local sorting office is open til 8pm on a Wednesday! I'm impressed! Means I can get it this week instead of waiting til next week like I would normally have to. Nice to end on a positive note!
I rang the GP and my doctor rang me back, I have to change docs and she was very helpful gave me the details of another trans friendly doctor that works near my new place. I'm happy that I have an idea of where to go but like I said before, really gutted about leaving my current doc :(
Also made a stupid mistake. Very stupid. I have not changed my name legally so all my ID is on my old female name, this is annoying but never really been much of a problem. Until this idiot decides to buy things online using my chosen name, Tom. Normally not a problem, I love getting post in my chosen name! However, I live in an apartment block with tiny little mail boxes so my packages went back to the royal mail sorting office. With the recorded ones, you have to take ID to go get them.. Fucking genius.. Gonna have to go and possibly out myself but try and blag it to get my own mail..
On the plus side, my new local sorting office is open til 8pm on a Wednesday! I'm impressed! Means I can get it this week instead of waiting til next week like I would normally have to. Nice to end on a positive note!
Mornin'
Hey, so.. The last few days have been rocky to say the least :/ I can go from miserable to ecstatic and back withing about half an hour if the circumstances are right! Last night was the lowest I've felt for a long long time. I went to salsa and had an alright night, I wasn't getting the steps as well as I had hoped and did last week but I think I'll get them ok with a bit of practice at work lol. It was after salsa that things turned shit. We had to cut salsa short and didn't get to do the higher class, partially because I was struggling and getting annoyed but mainly because I had an obligation to go back and clean the old house (that I've moved out of, the tenancy agreement is up at the end of the month).
So once I managed to pull myself away and I picked up bin bags on the way, I got to the old house to find one of my flat mates stressing out pretty big, the whole place was a sty and I mean completely disgusting! I'm glad that I spent hours before doing my room and the upstairs bathrooms because I could not face it last night. There were 3 of us there last night cleaning like maniacs really! I cleaned the most disgusting fridge I have ever seen, the smell alone was almost enough to make me sick! (Fabreeze in a fridge works wonders!) I think I was mostly pissed off because I felt like one of the few who had actually cleaned anything throughout the year and still I was there last night when some others weren't and in my honest opinion, definitely did NOT do their fair share! That was the first thing that really rattled me and then I find out that one of the girls just didn't fancy it, decided to stay at home in her new house instead of coming to clean. You think I wanted to be there?! I had a much better offer for things to be doing last night! An offer I wanted to take SO badly, I was so close to not going to clean and I do it because I want my deposit back, yeah a few of us did more than our share but it's about money! I wanted to stay away.. I really did.. That was what tipped it, the fact that I was sat cleaning and heaving at the smell in a house that I had already done my share of when other people couldn't be arsed to do anything and I could have been out dancing for longer and seeing people I care about and doing things I want to spend my time doing.
I'm so damn short of time it angers me that I HAD to spend my time doing that because other people just didn't fancy it. My own friends have to book in to see me about a week in advance! Even more sometimes!! I'm not even joking! The only times I'm on my own these days is literally for sleeping and that's down to less than 4 hours a night now because I'm up late doing things I
want to do and up early for work. There aren't enough hours in the day!
I'm looking forward to this weekend but I fear it wont help matters. Driving to Birmingham after work tomorrow so that means another late night. Leaving Newcastle at 7pm means getting home around 11pm and I would like to see my family! Plus my car is getting worse and worse so I don't want to push it too hard.
Then up at a decent time on Friday to see my gran and then go to the wedding. Back Friday night after the wedding, spending Saturday at home with my family (this is where I plan to chill out and rest a little) Then up Sunday morning, early, to get back to Morpeth for the BBQ then Monday get sky installed and do the million and one jobs I have to do with my last day off work and bang, all the holiday/weekend is gone and I'm back at work without much of a break. Awesome. :/
I just want to stop time and go to bed!!
The other thing that is stressing me out other than being knackered ans not being able to do what I want! Is that I'm still knocking around on a damn waiting list for the gender clinic! I really like my GP.. We get on well and I feel like she is very understanding. The only problem with that is that I have moved house, out of her catchment area! I'm really gutted, I plan to ring her today and ask if I can still stay under her care but I fear the answer will be to find a doctor near me :( boo! Not happy.
Sorry this was such a downer, just how I've been feeling last night really, hopefully if today gets better I'll post again and it should be a bit better!
So once I managed to pull myself away and I picked up bin bags on the way, I got to the old house to find one of my flat mates stressing out pretty big, the whole place was a sty and I mean completely disgusting! I'm glad that I spent hours before doing my room and the upstairs bathrooms because I could not face it last night. There were 3 of us there last night cleaning like maniacs really! I cleaned the most disgusting fridge I have ever seen, the smell alone was almost enough to make me sick! (Fabreeze in a fridge works wonders!) I think I was mostly pissed off because I felt like one of the few who had actually cleaned anything throughout the year and still I was there last night when some others weren't and in my honest opinion, definitely did NOT do their fair share! That was the first thing that really rattled me and then I find out that one of the girls just didn't fancy it, decided to stay at home in her new house instead of coming to clean. You think I wanted to be there?! I had a much better offer for things to be doing last night! An offer I wanted to take SO badly, I was so close to not going to clean and I do it because I want my deposit back, yeah a few of us did more than our share but it's about money! I wanted to stay away.. I really did.. That was what tipped it, the fact that I was sat cleaning and heaving at the smell in a house that I had already done my share of when other people couldn't be arsed to do anything and I could have been out dancing for longer and seeing people I care about and doing things I want to spend my time doing.
I'm so damn short of time it angers me that I HAD to spend my time doing that because other people just didn't fancy it. My own friends have to book in to see me about a week in advance! Even more sometimes!! I'm not even joking! The only times I'm on my own these days is literally for sleeping and that's down to less than 4 hours a night now because I'm up late doing things I
want to do and up early for work. There aren't enough hours in the day!
I'm looking forward to this weekend but I fear it wont help matters. Driving to Birmingham after work tomorrow so that means another late night. Leaving Newcastle at 7pm means getting home around 11pm and I would like to see my family! Plus my car is getting worse and worse so I don't want to push it too hard.
Then up at a decent time on Friday to see my gran and then go to the wedding. Back Friday night after the wedding, spending Saturday at home with my family (this is where I plan to chill out and rest a little) Then up Sunday morning, early, to get back to Morpeth for the BBQ then Monday get sky installed and do the million and one jobs I have to do with my last day off work and bang, all the holiday/weekend is gone and I'm back at work without much of a break. Awesome. :/
I just want to stop time and go to bed!!
The other thing that is stressing me out other than being knackered ans not being able to do what I want! Is that I'm still knocking around on a damn waiting list for the gender clinic! I really like my GP.. We get on well and I feel like she is very understanding. The only problem with that is that I have moved house, out of her catchment area! I'm really gutted, I plan to ring her today and ask if I can still stay under her care but I fear the answer will be to find a doctor near me :( boo! Not happy.
Sorry this was such a downer, just how I've been feeling last night really, hopefully if today gets better I'll post again and it should be a bit better!
Tuesday, 28 June 2011
Random
I'm feeling at least slightly happier today so hopefully this wont be as miserable as the last!
Yesterday was a decent enough day, didn't really do a great deal, came off night shift, slept then hung out with a mate most of the day! Played a bit of playstation, had a couple of beers, it was good.
Been on another small cleaning spree which is really not normally like me, but it's like I can't sit still, if I'm not doing anything else, I may as well be cleaning! Feeling very good about my flat though, keeping it very tidy and clean is now a small obsession but I figure it's a healthy one :)
Didn't sleep at all last night, mostly I think because of the heat, it was so warm in my room! Had a lot on my mind last night too :/ Managed to get most of it in order today though and I'm seeing my mum in 2days! SO excited! I'm driving down on Thursday after I finish work for my sisters wedding on Friday. If I'm honest (and I know it's horrible) I really don't care all that much about the wedding, I'm only going because I should, not because I want to. I am pretty happy about seeing my family though. My mum is slowly coming round to the fact I'm a man! She is well aware I'm wearing a shirt and tie to the wedding and keeps asking if I have everything I need. She asked if I was wearing a jacket and I said I was, she was ok with this, although I did tell her I planned to smuggle in sweets in said jacket! She keeps saying things as well that puts me outside of the group of "women" like "I wish it was that easy for women to find an outfit for weddings" so although she doesn't see me as a man yet, I think she is finding it ever more difficult to see me as a woman or, (better scenario) is trying hard to not see me as a woman anymore, or a mixture of the two. I'm not bothered why, I'm just happy! I love my parents so much, them making progress with me being trans really affects me.
Today I'm at work (boring) but after work have an action packed few hours! Got salsa straight after work then going to clean my old house for the last time so I can finally be free of it and sign it off as done! Salsa is going to be amazing, it gives me a proper confidence boost and makes me swagger :P I really love it. I know I've said before, I like the defined gender roles.. I think that's why it boosts me so much, feeling like a proper man :) Sucks it's on the same night that I need to be cleaning the old place but then I'm always doing something or other so things clash a lot. I cannot wait to be free of the old place.. one more night of hellish cleaning and a few (big) bills and it's gone! Then it's just new flat and only cleaning one place and paying for one place :D :D
Tbh, now I've thought things through, it's not so bad :) Just some rushing around tonight but I have caffeine and I'm prepared to use it!!
Yesterday was a decent enough day, didn't really do a great deal, came off night shift, slept then hung out with a mate most of the day! Played a bit of playstation, had a couple of beers, it was good.
Been on another small cleaning spree which is really not normally like me, but it's like I can't sit still, if I'm not doing anything else, I may as well be cleaning! Feeling very good about my flat though, keeping it very tidy and clean is now a small obsession but I figure it's a healthy one :)
Didn't sleep at all last night, mostly I think because of the heat, it was so warm in my room! Had a lot on my mind last night too :/ Managed to get most of it in order today though and I'm seeing my mum in 2days! SO excited! I'm driving down on Thursday after I finish work for my sisters wedding on Friday. If I'm honest (and I know it's horrible) I really don't care all that much about the wedding, I'm only going because I should, not because I want to. I am pretty happy about seeing my family though. My mum is slowly coming round to the fact I'm a man! She is well aware I'm wearing a shirt and tie to the wedding and keeps asking if I have everything I need. She asked if I was wearing a jacket and I said I was, she was ok with this, although I did tell her I planned to smuggle in sweets in said jacket! She keeps saying things as well that puts me outside of the group of "women" like "I wish it was that easy for women to find an outfit for weddings" so although she doesn't see me as a man yet, I think she is finding it ever more difficult to see me as a woman or, (better scenario) is trying hard to not see me as a woman anymore, or a mixture of the two. I'm not bothered why, I'm just happy! I love my parents so much, them making progress with me being trans really affects me.
Today I'm at work (boring) but after work have an action packed few hours! Got salsa straight after work then going to clean my old house for the last time so I can finally be free of it and sign it off as done! Salsa is going to be amazing, it gives me a proper confidence boost and makes me swagger :P I really love it. I know I've said before, I like the defined gender roles.. I think that's why it boosts me so much, feeling like a proper man :) Sucks it's on the same night that I need to be cleaning the old place but then I'm always doing something or other so things clash a lot. I cannot wait to be free of the old place.. one more night of hellish cleaning and a few (big) bills and it's gone! Then it's just new flat and only cleaning one place and paying for one place :D :D
Tbh, now I've thought things through, it's not so bad :) Just some rushing around tonight but I have caffeine and I'm prepared to use it!!
Sunday, 26 June 2011
Downer
I'm feeling really miserable so I can't imagine this post will be a happy one, I'll try lol
I'm getting ever more nervous about rugby to the point I'm considering backing out, I want to play so badly but at the same time, I like my limbs and can't face the rejection really. If I'm honest, it's all about the rejection..
I can't help but feel like the world is moving on without me, I feel so stuck in limbo. I really want to change my name and move forward but if anything it's like I'm moving back instead.
I got up at 12 today (god knows why) after night shift last night and had an epic day of cleaning, managed to get the sticky shit off my windows using white spirit and deep cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, felt pretty good about having done it tbh. I like my flat, I like taking pride in it :)
I'm on night shift again tonight and I think the lack of sleep/caffeine could be whats making me down but my problem is that lack of sleep makes me down and me being down stops me sleeping :( Bad cycle..
I thought a little more about stuff in general.. Binding is becoming insanely painful so have stopped binding so much at work, it's annoying because I don't feel comfortable emotionally without binding (outside the flat obviously) but can't stand to bind for 12 hour shifts anymore. Like I said before, I feel like I'm in limbo.
Contemplated running away today, not seriously just for a few days to get back in touch with myself really. Been thinking about it for a few days, just pissing off, driving somewhere and pitching my tent. Turn the phone off and basically just cease to exist for a few days.. I hate performing for people, being happy because someone says I should be or to stop other people being uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong, I am happy. Happier than I ever was as female that's for sure. It's like I've been given a taste of what could be but then never actually allowed to have it. It's really hard as well to see others move faster, with more accepting families or with worse families that they don't mind so much going against.
I love my family, and they love me, I can't complain, they only worry because they care but I can't help but feel like I'm being held back. I wish they would come on board a little. I have told work I will change my name in September and I really want to, I just have no idea how to approach this with my mum.. Argh I feel so messed up..
Sorry this is such a downer, just needed to get some stuff out..
I'm getting ever more nervous about rugby to the point I'm considering backing out, I want to play so badly but at the same time, I like my limbs and can't face the rejection really. If I'm honest, it's all about the rejection..
I can't help but feel like the world is moving on without me, I feel so stuck in limbo. I really want to change my name and move forward but if anything it's like I'm moving back instead.
I got up at 12 today (god knows why) after night shift last night and had an epic day of cleaning, managed to get the sticky shit off my windows using white spirit and deep cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, felt pretty good about having done it tbh. I like my flat, I like taking pride in it :)
I'm on night shift again tonight and I think the lack of sleep/caffeine could be whats making me down but my problem is that lack of sleep makes me down and me being down stops me sleeping :( Bad cycle..
I thought a little more about stuff in general.. Binding is becoming insanely painful so have stopped binding so much at work, it's annoying because I don't feel comfortable emotionally without binding (outside the flat obviously) but can't stand to bind for 12 hour shifts anymore. Like I said before, I feel like I'm in limbo.
Contemplated running away today, not seriously just for a few days to get back in touch with myself really. Been thinking about it for a few days, just pissing off, driving somewhere and pitching my tent. Turn the phone off and basically just cease to exist for a few days.. I hate performing for people, being happy because someone says I should be or to stop other people being uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong, I am happy. Happier than I ever was as female that's for sure. It's like I've been given a taste of what could be but then never actually allowed to have it. It's really hard as well to see others move faster, with more accepting families or with worse families that they don't mind so much going against.
I love my family, and they love me, I can't complain, they only worry because they care but I can't help but feel like I'm being held back. I wish they would come on board a little. I have told work I will change my name in September and I really want to, I just have no idea how to approach this with my mum.. Argh I feel so messed up..
Sorry this is such a downer, just needed to get some stuff out..
Saturday, 25 June 2011
Long time
I know it's been a long time.. I've been really wrapped up in my own life if I'm honest, not had the chance to stop and share, something night shifts are made for!
Download was AWESOME! I think for most o the time I passed alright, I know that the people I was camping with cottoned on pretty fast but tbh it was to be expected. I passed at urinals quite a bit too although serious pee shyness :/
The music was really good and got to see some of my favorites and also some I've never heard of :) I met a couple of girls while watching one of the bands and managed to hold a conversation for quite a while! I was impressed :P
I went to see my doctor about a shared care agreement to get my bloods done on the NHS but get the go ahead for T privately.. Turns out my PCT is having none of it because they already have a system in place, with a 9 month waiting list!! It's either all private or all NHS so unfortunately, looks like I'm waiting and going NHS unless a lottery win falls upon me (fingers crossed).
I got in touch with a rugby team and apparently I can train with them no problem but will have to look into the rules to see if I can play in matches or not. It's a men's gay team, I'm not gay but figure they'll be more accepting than any other team so I'm very excited about playing again! They chairman I spoke to has said that he wont out me unless I say so, I think I might ask him to purely because the team will know anyway from how physical rugby is and changing rooms etc.. Half of me is really bricking it to be honest, partly about not being accepted and partly that they will all be big burly men who will destroy me.. The other half is just pure excitement though so I'm a little torn to say the least!
The new flat is still amazing :D I find myself more and more just chilling out topless, there's something about sitting in the living room playing playstation in just boxers that feels so natural to me! (If seriously slobbish) I don't have to pretend to be anyone else when I'm in my flat :D
I went to the bank today to change my address over, the bank still have my official name (obviously) on records but I pass pretty well day to day so the guy was giving me proper funny looks when I confirmed for the third time that it was in fact my account! At least I'm passing though! I really want to change my name in September because that's when there's a bit of a shuffle round in work.. Need to confront my parents about it though :( not looking forward to that since they've been so good helping out with my car (it's in need of fixing and taxing) and my flat.
I started salsa dancing earlier this week, been twice and it is shockingly good. I'm talking like, awesome. Build up a decent sweat as well! I think it's the fixed male and female roles that are very defined. I think I pass 100% at salsa, not even funny looks (except for my "different" style of dancing!) I think though by the end of the second lesson, I was really getting the hang of it! I have figured out so far that all the man's steps are based around what you want the woman to do, basically just pushing her around.. It's fun :) All sorts of people go from my age to like 60 lol and when dancing with the old women it's just nice and smiley and fun but with some of the younger ones.. They push themselves pretty close to you! I have been a gentleman though and kept my distance! I've been dancing with my ex and it's been really nice, good to connect again :)
I've found a way to beat the casino at roulette.. It would only work on online games not in an actual casino and it works beautifully on the "free play" section, the only problem is, I'm not sure if it's legal or if it's just damn clever.. I'll let you know if it is legal, onto a right little winner!
I'm done for now, no doubt I'll think of something else about 10 seconds after I post this.. I promise I wont wait as long to update!
Download was AWESOME! I think for most o the time I passed alright, I know that the people I was camping with cottoned on pretty fast but tbh it was to be expected. I passed at urinals quite a bit too although serious pee shyness :/
The music was really good and got to see some of my favorites and also some I've never heard of :) I met a couple of girls while watching one of the bands and managed to hold a conversation for quite a while! I was impressed :P
I went to see my doctor about a shared care agreement to get my bloods done on the NHS but get the go ahead for T privately.. Turns out my PCT is having none of it because they already have a system in place, with a 9 month waiting list!! It's either all private or all NHS so unfortunately, looks like I'm waiting and going NHS unless a lottery win falls upon me (fingers crossed).
I got in touch with a rugby team and apparently I can train with them no problem but will have to look into the rules to see if I can play in matches or not. It's a men's gay team, I'm not gay but figure they'll be more accepting than any other team so I'm very excited about playing again! They chairman I spoke to has said that he wont out me unless I say so, I think I might ask him to purely because the team will know anyway from how physical rugby is and changing rooms etc.. Half of me is really bricking it to be honest, partly about not being accepted and partly that they will all be big burly men who will destroy me.. The other half is just pure excitement though so I'm a little torn to say the least!
The new flat is still amazing :D I find myself more and more just chilling out topless, there's something about sitting in the living room playing playstation in just boxers that feels so natural to me! (If seriously slobbish) I don't have to pretend to be anyone else when I'm in my flat :D
I went to the bank today to change my address over, the bank still have my official name (obviously) on records but I pass pretty well day to day so the guy was giving me proper funny looks when I confirmed for the third time that it was in fact my account! At least I'm passing though! I really want to change my name in September because that's when there's a bit of a shuffle round in work.. Need to confront my parents about it though :( not looking forward to that since they've been so good helping out with my car (it's in need of fixing and taxing) and my flat.
I started salsa dancing earlier this week, been twice and it is shockingly good. I'm talking like, awesome. Build up a decent sweat as well! I think it's the fixed male and female roles that are very defined. I think I pass 100% at salsa, not even funny looks (except for my "different" style of dancing!) I think though by the end of the second lesson, I was really getting the hang of it! I have figured out so far that all the man's steps are based around what you want the woman to do, basically just pushing her around.. It's fun :) All sorts of people go from my age to like 60 lol and when dancing with the old women it's just nice and smiley and fun but with some of the younger ones.. They push themselves pretty close to you! I have been a gentleman though and kept my distance! I've been dancing with my ex and it's been really nice, good to connect again :)
I've found a way to beat the casino at roulette.. It would only work on online games not in an actual casino and it works beautifully on the "free play" section, the only problem is, I'm not sure if it's legal or if it's just damn clever.. I'll let you know if it is legal, onto a right little winner!
I'm done for now, no doubt I'll think of something else about 10 seconds after I post this.. I promise I wont wait as long to update!
Tuesday, 7 June 2011
Download!
Hey, so the last few days have been non-eventful but still quite exciting :)
Moved into the new place properly and I've spent a few days there, it's so amazing to live on my own! I can walk around without binding and finally feel comfortable in my own home! Dysphoria isn't so bad because I can wear what I want and feel comfortable in my own body knowing I can walk around shirtless and no-one has a problem with it :D
It is really good to be there, it's all the little things that make the difference for me.. Wrapping my towel round my waist instead of my chest.. All these tiny factors are what are making me really happy there :) Also the fact that the place is LUSH! It's so lush I'm actually keeping it tidy! Making my bed and everything..
Download festival is this weekend so it's my last day at work today and I'm driving down to Birmingham tonight to stay over and pick up my sister for driving to download and setting up camp tomorrow. Staying there from Wednesday to Monday and then back at work on Tuesday.. I'm still a little worried about camping and binding and stuff. I just hope the people we are with are fairly understanding..
I'm still saving for maybe going to London and getting T privately.. Got like £80 in coppers now! Unfortunately I'm skint as hell so looks like this is being spent on petrol and food :/
I felt so good about saving it as well :( damn.. Unless anyone wants to lend my like £100 until payday? Please?
Moved into the new place properly and I've spent a few days there, it's so amazing to live on my own! I can walk around without binding and finally feel comfortable in my own home! Dysphoria isn't so bad because I can wear what I want and feel comfortable in my own body knowing I can walk around shirtless and no-one has a problem with it :D
It is really good to be there, it's all the little things that make the difference for me.. Wrapping my towel round my waist instead of my chest.. All these tiny factors are what are making me really happy there :) Also the fact that the place is LUSH! It's so lush I'm actually keeping it tidy! Making my bed and everything..
Download festival is this weekend so it's my last day at work today and I'm driving down to Birmingham tonight to stay over and pick up my sister for driving to download and setting up camp tomorrow. Staying there from Wednesday to Monday and then back at work on Tuesday.. I'm still a little worried about camping and binding and stuff. I just hope the people we are with are fairly understanding..
I'm still saving for maybe going to London and getting T privately.. Got like £80 in coppers now! Unfortunately I'm skint as hell so looks like this is being spent on petrol and food :/
I felt so good about saving it as well :( damn.. Unless anyone wants to lend my like £100 until payday? Please?
Wednesday, 1 June 2011
House
Hey, I know it's been too long.. My bad..
I have just this evening signed for a new house which is going to be LUSH! I cannot wait to move out on my own :)
My dad came up and was very very generous and useful :) it's all good
I'm off to bed so will update properly later.. For now.. Things are very good with the house, hopefully get keys by the weekend. Everything else is pretty poo
I have just this evening signed for a new house which is going to be LUSH! I cannot wait to move out on my own :)
My dad came up and was very very generous and useful :) it's all good
I'm off to bed so will update properly later.. For now.. Things are very good with the house, hopefully get keys by the weekend. Everything else is pretty poo
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